The year 2024 nearly broke me.
From the outside, it looked like another challenging year in Information Technology. From the inside, it was a battle for my life.
Since 2020, the IT industry has been upended. New technologies, new expectations, and constant instability have become the cost of survival. By February 2024, I had completed my second contract role since 2021. By May of 2024, something far deeper than professional uncertainty set in. Depression crept quietly, then boldly. My grip on the very things God had given me or allowed me to steward began to loosen. I knew something was wrong, even if I could not name it.
That is when I had to depend on God completely.
Obeying God When There’s No Clear Path
During that season, I felt the Spirit of God instruct me to leave my home and move into a hotel. The message came in a way only God can deliver. The Master Tailor was sending me, the Raggedy Anne doll, back to the shop for a stitch. What I did not yet know was that resurrection was coming.
As I placed my belongings into storage, I heard the Spirit say I would not see them again. Strangely, I felt no attachment. Depression had dulled my emotions, but grace was already loosening my grip. I drove away feeling lighter. It was not because I did not appreciate what God had done for me. Those things had simply become a burden I was no longer meant to carry.
I found an extended-stay hotel and checked in. Weeks passed. Then another extended stay. More weeks. But something was off. Paranoia set in. I knew I was not myself, and at my age, I needed to be careful.
During that second stay, my debit card was compromised. The steps to fix it did not register. When the card stopped working, and the property manager changed my payment routine without telling me, fear took over. He contacted my bank to ask about my balance. That crossed a line. My spirit would not allow me to stay.
I left with money to pay but without peace to stay.
I slept in my car. Then I ended up in the parking lot of a Comfort Inn on Thornton Road. I do not know how I got there. My phone was dying. My debit card still did not work. The bank was closed. I went to the lobby asking for help.
What happened next changed me forever.
When Your Circumstances Make You Wonder If You Really Heard From God
My car battery died. My phone went off. The hotel refused to help me. They would not let me use the phone. They would not let me use the bathroom. Each time I asked, I was told I had fifteen minutes to leave or the police would be called.
I was trapped in that parking lot for days.
By the third day, fear had set in. I couldn’t leave my car at night. When I desperately needed to use the bathroom, I was refused again. I wet myself at the doorway. The manager called the police.
But God had already called mercy.
The officers listened. They did not arrest me. They did not cite me. They took me to the hospital.
At the hospital, I told them something was wrong. I expected help for my physical symptoms. Instead, I was admitted, evaluated, scanned, and seen by psychiatry. The doctor told me there was nothing wrong with me. I was told I was “just crazy.”
No one told me there was a brain tumor the size of a large half grapefruit sitting on my brain.
Now I can see it clearly. God was orchestrating everything.
After discharge, I went to the bank, got a new debit card, and checked into another hotel. The staff monitored me. By this time, I was barely functioning. I slept for one to two days at a time. I did not bathe. I did not eat. I had no desire to manage life.
That is when the seizures started.
At first, I did not know what they were. I thought I just felt unwell. I did not know each one was a threat to my life. I did not know I needed immediate help.
My debit card failed again. Cash was gone. The front desk clerk grew concerned. She told me I needed to move closer to my bank. She was afraid I would die in my room.
She was not wrong.
Under Spiritual Attack But Protected By God
I was having seizures in my room, in public places, and even in a restaurant across the street. EMS was called. My car was impounded. I had no clean clothes. I lost 50 to 60 pounds. I was a shell.
Yet God never took His hand off me.
He was a Father watching His child in distress. He kept me protected, covered, and carried. The palm of His hand is my favorite place to be, and that is precisely where I was.
I walked slowly to the bank. This time, they helped me. After eating at a nearby restaurant, I felt a nudge. I was meant to return to a hotel that had turned me away before. This time, I had a working debit card.
They gave me a room.
I did not know these people would help save my life.
They checked on me. They called when they did not see me. They helped me manage payments. They cared.
Weeks later, the seizures intensified. Three emergency room visits later, EMS finally told me the truth.
I had a brain tumor.
I kept returning to the same hospital. I lacked the presence of mind to advocate for myself. Surgery was scheduled. Before the scheduled surgery date, I had a seizure that nearly killed me.
If God had not intervened, the enemy would have taken me out.
But God said, “Not so.”
God Shows Up & Shows Out
During my three-week hospital stay, God moved mightily. Staff members came to hear my story. There were moments when we had church in my room. The gifts of wisdom and knowledge flowed freely. I had brain surgery, and I was the only one who did not seem alarmed.
Before surgery, I lost everything except the clothes I wore, my vehicle, and what was inside it. The storage facility had sold off all my belongings. Systems failed me. People delayed. But Jehovah Jireh did not. God was showing up as my Jehovah Rapha (Healer). He was my Jehovah Shalom (Peace). He was my El Shaddai (Almighty God). He was all and everything else I needed.
God redeemed me.
I woke up from surgery the same day, walking, talking, pain-free, and without medication. The doctors said rehab was a possibility, but God said not so. The surgeon opened the top of my skull and removed the tumor. I missed nothing.
Since that day, I have had no pain. No addictive medications. No side effects. My doctors no longer examine me. They simply look at me.
My MRIs speak for themselves.
Listen to The Sanctified Script podcast to learn the details of this journey. Discover how God used this journey to teach some theological lessons. These lessons will make us all better in Him!
